Let’s be real, motherhood is beyond exhausting and it’s easy to let “life” steer you away from goals you may have set for yourself. Motivation for moms, specifically, can be very hard to maintain because we often lose sight of our own goals while putting others’ needs first.
Between making sure you keep your kids alive and happy, managing family finances, grocery shopping, maintaining a relationship with your spouse and balancing it all with your own career, it can wear you down. Your personal goals are no longer important and you’re just trying to keep your head above water.
But, if you know me, I’m here to tell you that you need to pull yourself together, get organized, write your goals down and find the motivation to keep moving forward. You’re a hard working, badass mother and guess what? More than anything, you deserve to hit your goals.
We’re going to take a deep dive into what motivation really means, how to set goals that motivate you, and where to find motivation when it starts slipping away.
What is Motivation?
The literal definition of the term Motivation comes from the word ‘Motive’ which means, “something (such as a need or desire) that causes a person to act”.
But, you didn’t really come here for some lame definition of a word. You came here to find out what motivation really means to you as an individual.
So, let’s figure it out, mama!
The most important step to finding your motivation is finding what causes you to act. The last piece of that definition above is the key. What keeps you going? What makes you take the next step on a project? What forces you to move forward?
Better yet, ask yourself these questions: Why didn’t I complete this goal? What caused me to stop? Why didn’t I take the next step on that project?
If you can answer even one of those questions, you can begin to uncover your “why” which is the one thing you need to have down before you can ever replicate the success of hitting a goal.
If your goals are not aligned with your individual mission, vision and purpose as a person, you will not be successful hitting goals. I can almost guarantee that.
In business, you always start with your vision, mission and purpose because they are most important. Any successful entrepreneur or business owner will tell you that your “why” is the foundation on which you build from.
Being a mom is no different, really. You’re now the CEO and co-founder (we’ll give the spouses a shoutout) of your family. Defining your ‘why’ will now be molded by influences from your kids and spouse. Although your goals may be personal goals, your family will influence your ‘why’ and the reason you want to hit these goals.
Let’s dive into finding your ‘why’; the most important foundational aspect of maintaining motivation for moms.
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Find Your Why: The Key to Motivation for Moms
Simon Sinek is legit. If you don’t know who he is, look him up and watch some of his TED talks or YouTube videos. He is an author and motivational speaker that has written five books and two of them focus on “Your Why”.
I’ve read both Start with Why and Find Your Why and although they’re focused towards businesses, there’s something to say about really getting to the heart of why you are doing something. Sinek focuses on the core of finding what inspires you and always leading with that. “Your Why” comes before anything else and it’s what you can fall back on when feeling less than motivated.
If we apply this same principle in our daily lives as moms, we can come to the same conclusion. Your why should inspire you on a daily basis and should guide you when setting individual goals for yourself as a strong woman, and mother.
What really gets you out of bed in the morning? Seriously, think about it.
Whether you have to get up and go to work or you’re a stay at home mom or work from home mom, why do you wake up? Sure, you could just shrug your shoulders right now and say, “well, because I have to”, but I’m challenging you…
DIG DEEPER!
Another tactic that I like to use is the 5 Whys. It’s a technique used to get to the root of a problem. I use it almost every single day at work. It’s simple. Just ask “why?” 5 times or until you’ve reached the root of what you’re questioning. Here’s a quick breakdown of what that could look like when trying to uncover our Why:
Why do you wake up every morning and get out of bed?
- Because I have to – Why?
- I need to go to work – Why?
- I have to pay my bills – Why?
- Because I want a good life for my kids – Why?
- Because they mean more to me than anything in this world and I want to set a good example for them and provide them with an awesome life!
Cool, mama, you may have just uncovered your Why! If you set goals for yourself and you clearly defined that your Why was to provide an awesome life for your kids, would that be enough to keep you motivated?
Of course your goals would provide more details and specifics, but your foundation and inspiration would be that you want to provide an awesome life for your kiddos and be a good example of what hard work looks like.
Every single time you lose motivation or can’t seem to even get out of bed in the morning, you lean on your Why. You should literally repeat your Why outloud and use it to propel you to do whatever it is you said you were going to do. Even when you don’t feel like it.
If you have uncovered your Why, please let me know! I’d love to hear!
Now, let’s move on to the different types of motivation and tips for how to find motivation when you need it most.
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Types of Motivation
Extrinsic Motivation
Extrinsic motivation is when you are motivated by an outside desire or reward. This could mean that you are driven by incentives such as fame, praise or money. These things motivate you to keep going and to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Your Why may be to provide a better life for your family and you are extrinsically motivated by the money you can earn by reaching your goals. In the end, that money will support your Why and will also motivate you to reach your goal.
Intrinsic Motivation
Intrinsic motivation is all about reaching goals and staying motivated without receiving any external rewards. An example of this would be doing something you enjoy without expecting anything in return just because you love doing it.
You may love reading so a goal you have is to finish one book a month simply because you enjoy it. You may still experience growth, but there are no outside rewards earned once you met the goal.
Helping others could also be an intrinsic motivation. You aren’t necessarily looking for praise or acknowledgement, but you find happiness and purpose by helping others.
Understanding Your Motivation Type
Simply understanding how you’re motivated, will help you develop goals that are in alignment with your natural tendency to stay motivated. If you are naturally intrinsically motivated, you don’t need money, fame or praise to hit a goal. You need to know there is something in it for you personally to stay motivated.
On the flip side, if you are highly motivated by money, you may want to tie a monetary reward into hitting your goal. Knowing there’s a monetary based reward waiting for you on the other side of the goal will keep you laser focused on hitting the goal.
Tips to Find Motivation
Start with Why
This is coming up again because you can not skip this. It’s literally the most important step to staying motivated. It’s the reason you wake up every morning and it’s the reason you get out of your cozy bed each day. Start with this and don’t even think about moving on until you’ve figured it out for yourself.
If you need help with this, ask someone you trust for help! I’m telling you right now, as a woman who drives an hour to and from work each day and who has owned her own businesses, you will not stay motivated if you don’t know your Why. It just won’t happen.
Here’s 100% the real deal…
If you can’t show yourself enough respect to spend the time and energy to find out why your life is important, then you won’t be strong enough to stay motivated to hit your goals. Yah, it’s that real and raw up in here.
But guess what else? I do believe in you and I know that if you just dig deep, you will find it. It’s probably not as hard as you think. Start with the most simplistic reason you get out of bed and build on that every day until you uncover what inspires you.
Write that shit down somewhere and repeat it every day. If you do that, you will either realize you uncovered your Why or you will realize you need to dig deeper.
If you aren’t meeting your goals it’s one of two problems:
- Your Why is not strong enough; keep digging!
- Your goals are not in alignment with your Why, make new goals and keep going!
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Set S.M.A.R.T. Goals
Oh man, another fun tool I love using. I use this one every day at work as well. If you want to set awesome goals that are actually realistic and reasonable to hit, you need to use S.M.A.R.T. goals.
There is a reason this format works. If you use the S.M.A.R.T. goal format, you will never miss a component that is required to hit your goal. It does require some thought, but once you start creating goals in this format, it will become a habit.
Once you’ve been using this format for a while, your confidence level will sky rocket because it’s a fool proof way to set up your goal for success. I hate when you feel you’ve over-promised and under-delivered. If done properly, you will never be that person. Especially when it comes to personal goals; you don’t want to let yourself or your family down.
Snag your FREE template below and start filling in your goals!
Don’t Complicate, Simplify!
Do not over complicate things. When we tend to wallow in the details, it can get super overwhelming and you can easily lose motivation.
Especially as moms, we already have so much on our minds. We need to do our best at making things simple so we can focus on all the things in life.
If you start to get stressed out looking at your goals, you may be putting too much pressure on yourself, your goals aren’t allowing for realistic timeframes or you are over-complicating it.
Celebrate Past Achievements
Think about all that you have accomplished in your life and celebrate those things!
Relive how you accomplished those things and that’s where you will find your motivation again. How did you achieve a goal? How did you get there? Where did you start and end? Within those questions and within that journey lies the motivation you may lack at certain times.
Try to remember what it felt like when you wanted to give up and what got you to keep going. Try to remember how you felt once you hit your goal or accomplished something huge. Those are the feelings you are striving to find to propel you forward with current goals.
Focus on the Future
Setting goals is a way to look into the future and create your ultimate life path. Don’t just set short term goals, set year long goals as well. Your short term goals should lead you on the path to hitting your long term goals.
Sometimes it’s easier to dream big and set goals for 10 years, 5 years, 2 years and 1 year. These can be a bit less specific, but you can still use the SMART goal format as best you can. Be careful not to make them too detailed though as it can be extremely hard to know everything that needs to be done to hit longer term goals. You’ll know more as you inch closer to them.
Work your way back and from your one year goals, start creating projects that are required to hit those goals. Then, break your projects down into tasks that need to be accomplished to make those projects happen.
By focusing on the future, you can dream big and throw out any idea no matter how crazy. This tends to motivate people because you’re not setting limits on yourself. This is where you can really go all out and believe in yourself!
Remove Negative Relationships
Oh man, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to realize that someone or something in my life was toxic and holding me back. It’s hard to see in the moment especially if you’re like me and you’re a natural helper who is also extremely loyal.
Too many times I’ve been sucked into relationships that were full of negative energy and just being around the person sucked the life out of me. I hate myself when those types of relationships exist. They tend to always show up in business (for me, atleast) so there’s this feeling that I have to deal with it.
F**ck that! I’ve realized that I can’t be my best self when I’m held back by people like that. I can’t compromise my mental health for people who are toxic.
Rid your life of all the negative energy and you can accomplish so much more! You don’t want someone telling you you can’t do something or you’re not good enough. You don’t need those lies or that bullshit. You have goals to hit and those negative people can be left in the dust while you crush it at life!
Practice Self Care
Please, mama, don’t forget about yourself. You need to take care of you, first! If you don’t, I can guarantee you are not fulfilling your why and your motivation will dwindle quickly.
Your mental health and physical health need to come before anything else. You will not be able to fulfill your why in life if you aren’t making time for yourself.
Moms already tend to put others before themselves so please don’t let this be you. Even if it’s 30 minutes a day, you need to find time to spend time with yourself doing something you love. It doesn’t need to be much, but it does need to be something.
Burnout is real. When I had my own MLM business I was sometimes sleeping 3 hours a night while still working full time and commuting an hour each way to the office. I was insanely motivated for a while so I could handle it. Let’s just say, my why was that strong.
I was helping women feel great about themselves, helping other mom entrepreneurs fulfill their goals and I was earning extra income for my family to provide them with a great life.
I did that for two years and it was freaking awesome. Don’t get me wrong, I was really good at it and I loved it. But, my mental and physical health just were not worth it.
At the time, we only had Nora, but I knew eventually we wanted another kiddo. Realistically, I knew I had to give it up if we wanted to grow our family. After two years of going strong, I decided to take a break. Shortly after, we got pregnant with Xander so it was the right decision that aligned with my why!
Ask for Help
It’s never a bad thing to ask for help. You should be surrounding yourself with people who know more than you if you want to grow in life. You should never be the smartest person in the room. If you are, that’s an issue.
You can find motivation in people who are smarter than you. Smart people set goals, are productive, are resilient, are always growing, and being around them tend to make you super motivated.
Share your goals with people like this. They will hold you accountable if you ask them to. It may seem a bit scary, but they’re also there to help you along the way. They should be your cheerleaders and will always support you even during the craziest of ideas!
Best believe my friends are the first to buy something from me when I start my new businesses, they are the first to want to provide feedback, and they are there to pump me up when I doubt myself.
You want some of those people, find them.
Give Yourself Grace
I feel like people say this all the time and moms tend to brush it off. It’s easy to think you can handle it all and be super-mom 100% of the time. But, if we’re being honest with ourselves, we can’t be the best version of ourselves if we are constantly hard on ourselves.
If you think of failures as lessons or stepping stones, then this becomes a bit easier to embrace. As long as you are constantly learning and growing from your mistakes or shortcomings, it’s ok to mess up. It’s ok to have faults and it’s ok to majorly fail in life.
The most important part is standing back up, dusting yourself off and moving forward. This is when I feel like I can give myself grace. When I know I gave something my all and pushed myself, but still fail, I’m ok with it.
The truth is, we aren’t perfect and anyone who thinks they are or should be is seriously wrong.
Importance of Goal Setting to Drive Motivation
All in all, the key to staying motivated is making sure you understand your Why in life. You need to fully understand what drives you and use that to stay motivated.
I’d love to hear about your goals and how you stay motivated as a mom to hit them!
I hope you found these tips and tools valuable when setting your personal goals and for staying motivated! If you did find value in this information, I’d love for you to share this with your fellow mama friends! Just Click the picture below and share it on Facebook or Pinterest!
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Articles Similar to Motivation for Moms
Two things I loved about this post:
1) Although specific to moms, it can apply to anyone! I found all of this information helpful. I agree that finding your “Why” is key!
2) You talked about TYPES of motivation. I can’t say I’ve heard of those before but now I see that it’s essential to understanding what truly motivates me.
Awesome post! 🙂
Hi Taylor! Glad you found the information helpful. Your Why is so important and yes, it seems so trivial and silly sometimes to think about it, but you’re right, this applies to anyone and really sets the tone for how you achieve goals and excel in life. I’m glad you learned about the types of motivation and how you can use what drives you toward your goal! Happy goal setting!
Great tips! I definitely love the why process!! And I need to be better at giving myself grace for sure! Thanks for sharing!
Hi Amelia! (love your name by the way, it’s on my list if we have another kiddo!) Yes, finding your why is so important and is the foundation for any success in life. It may be natural and ingrained in some people, but for others, it needs to be a focus to achieve any goal. Giving yourself grace whether you’re a mom or not is always important! In general, women need to be more kind to themselves!
This is a great post with lots of helpful reminders. I write about the importance of your Big Why and how to set SMART goals too, but even I forget sometimes to focus on them. I’m definitely an extrinsic motivation type, which is so hard when those results are not there yet. I wish I was more intrinsically motivated, but I’m just not built that way. Thanks for this post!
Thanks for stopping by, Heather! Yes, your why and SMART goals are so important to achieving what you want in life, especially as a working mama! And hey, at least you know that you are motivated by outside forces. You just need to harness that knowledge and put the carrot in front of you to stay motivated! You got this!
So you are talking my language 😊 Love this.
I love you the method of the 5 Why’s to get to the root cause of what motivates you.
I’m a fan of Simon Sinek, but have not read his books. Going to add these to my Audible.
Hi Therese! Thank you so much for the feedback! 5 Whys is so powerful if you use it consistently. It will eventually become habit to question until you’ve found the root cause. Yes, Simon Sinek is great, definitely read these books and let me know what you think!
Finding my why has been once of the biggest breakthroughs in life. It helps guide me in everything I do. So really love that you raise this here. Thanks so much
That’s so awesome to hear, Oliver! Your Why will always guide your decisions in life if you found the right one! Keep pushing towards it!